Making A List
by mdelpin
Summary: Gray has nowhere to go for Christmas and is surprised when Natsu offers to let him crash in his apartment. When Gray finds out that Natsu has never celebrated Christmas he decides to teach him about what the holiday means, not realizing he is the one that has a lot to learn.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong to Hiro Mashima

Making a List…

Chapter 1

Gray walked into his dorm building, slamming the door behind him in disgust. _Just what in the hell was he supposed to do now?_ Stupid Lyon, how could his own brother change plans on him at the very last minute? He wasn't even allowed to stay in his room over break, and everyone he knew had already left town to be with their families for the holidays.

He entered his room and stared at his suitcase, already packed on his bed and sighed. He'd have to fork over a lot of money to stay in a cheap motel. _What a lovely Christmas he was going to have_. He grabbed his suitcase and locked his room. He decided to head over to the coffee shop around the corner and consider his options.

Gray was sulking at a table when he heard a voice he hadn't expected order a Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha from the barista. He looked up to make sure and saw the rather distinctive pink hair of his friend. Could it be that Natsu had nowhere to go either?

Gray had been trying for months to figure out how to ask Natsu out, but whenever he tried it was a disaster. For years they'd had this ridiculous rivalry, and it was just ingrained into most of their interactions to bicker or rile each other up. Not exactly conducive to romance, but Gray could not deny that beyond the obvious attraction, at least on his side, there was more.

Natsu could be thoughtful, loyal, and funny. Just not with Gray so much, and he didn't know how to change that. Before he'd had a chance to come up with a plan of action Natsu had already noticed him and headed toward his table. He plopped himself in the chair across from him.

"So, what are you still doing here?" Natsu asked as he sipped the drink that most people would have considered scalding with nary a reaction. "I thought Lyon was picking you up."

"So did I," Gray complained, "It turns out he wasn't able to get the time off, and he forgot to let me know because he was," and here Gray brought his hands up in air quotes, "too busy to bother."

"Oh, that sucks," Natsu replied and took another sip of his drink while studying his friend curiously, "What are you going to do?"

"Hell if I know, I was looking up motels, but they're either full or expensive as fuck." Gray looked at the search results on his phone in frustration.

"Well, there's no need for you to shell out cash," Natsu shrugged, "You can crash on my futon if you want."

"Wait, really?" Gray's heart sped up at all the opportunities he might have to make Natsu see him differently. Winter was his best season. Gray loved everything about it, ice skating, snow, long nature walks followed by large mugs of hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows.

Christmas was his favorite holiday as well. He loved doing all the holiday stuff, and he was feeling very thankful at the moment to not have to spend such a big holiday by himself. This would be the first Christmas without Ur, and he'd been really pissed at Lyon that he hadn't seen fit to spend it with him.

"Sure, I'll be working most of the time, but you're welcome to stay. Happy will be glad to have the company," Natsu noticed the suitcase next to Gray's chair and stood up,

"We can go now if you want."

"Working?" Gray repeated with disappointment, "What about Christmas?"

"What about it?" Natsu looked at Gray with confusion, "I don't celebrate it, but it's a great time to get overtime hours." Misunderstanding Gray's reaction he quickly added,

"I could probably set you up with some hours if you needed money for next semester."

"You don't celebrate Christmas?" Gray was crestfallen. No movie marathons, no tree trimming, no baking...nothing? "Is it a religion thing?"

Natsu laughed, "I'm not religious at all. I grew up in an orphanage Gray, we were lucky to be fed and have clothes that fit. I've never celebrated it, so it's never been a big deal."

Gray followed his friend out of the coffee shop and to his apartment which was only a few blocks away. He didn't know why, but it bothered him to know that Natsu had never experienced any of the things that they all took for granted. Gray wanted to change that, to show Natsu what a magical experience the holidays could be. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that this would be the way to show Natsu how he felt about him.

Natsu opened the door and let Gray inside, his Maine Coon cat Happy coming out of what looked to be the living room to investigate. Gray knelt down to let the cat sniff his fingers and scratched behind his ears once Happy seemed comfortable with him. Natsu walked towards the kitchen and began opening drawers and rummaging through them.

"Here!" Natsu said triumphantly, "I knew I had one." He held up a key and looked very proud of himself. He handed it over to Gray. "Now you can get in and out easily, just make sure Happy doesn't get out."

Gray thanked him, added the key to his keychain and put it back in his jeans pocket. Natsu smiled at him for a minute, and then looked around his apartment.

"Hmm let's see, I should give you the tour." Natsu pointed to where he had been a minute ago. "That's the kitchen obviously." He led them further into the apartment, which was not very large.

"Here's the living room." It had a large television and some older gaming consoles sitting on the bottom of a coffee table. "You can play whatever games you want, I usually get them used at Gamestop." He pointed at the only other piece of furniture in the room. "That's the futon I was telling you about. It's pretty comfortable, I've fallen asleep on it a bunch of times, and you can flatten it into a bed like this." Natsu showed him how to work the mechanism and opened a drawer underneath to show him a set of clean bedsheets, blankets, and a pillow before continuing. Past the living room was a hallway with several doors.

"You can probably use the coat closet for your clothes, I don't really use it," Natsu pointed him to a narrow door on the right. "The door on the left is the bathroom, and the one at the end of the hall is my bedroom. That's pretty much it, I usually eat at the coffee table or on one of the stools over by the kitchen counter. It's not much, but it's home." Natsu smiled, and Gray watched, transfixed. They'd been together for at least thirty minutes and had not bickered once yet. He wasn't about to point it out though.

"I have work in an hour, so I have to get going but help yourself to any food you want, I'll buy some groceries on the way home. Are you allergic to anything?" Natsu asked him.

Gray shook his head. "Ok, well I'll see you later," Natsu waved goodbye stopping for a second to pet Happy before checking on his food and water.

"Hey, Natsu?" Gray blurted out. Natsu looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"No problem, it would be stupid for you to waste a ton of money when I have room." He dazzled Gray with one of his bright smiles before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Well, that had gone reasonably well, it looked like his luck was changing for the better for once. Gray found the TV remote and sat down on the futon, channel surfing until he saw a Christmas movie he liked. Happy jumped on the futon and head-butted his hand aggressively, asking for pets and settling on his lap once Gray had complied.

Gray looked around the small apartment trying to find any mementos that would tell him more about his friend. There were very few pictures on display, and they were mostly group shots of all their friends. Gray spotted himself in a few. There was one picture where he only recognized a younger looking Natsu. He was standing in front of a building with five other boys and a younger girl. Gray picked it up and studied it intently. _This must have been at the orphanage._

What must that have been like? Gray had been lucky that his Aunt Ur had taken him and Lyon in after their parents died. What had even happened to Natsu's parents? He'd known Natsu was an orphan, but he was ashamed to realize that even after all these years of being friends he still knew very little about him.

Gray thought about what kinds of things he could do with Natsu that would introduce him to Christmas. He was sad, his thoughts full of Ur and Christmases past. He decided he would make a list of his favorite activities and try to do them all with Natsu, and hopefully by the end of it manage to ask him out like he wanted. Gray opened his suitcase and unpacked, putting his clothes in the small closet and making sure to not make a mess in his friend's tidy home.

He found a notepad and a pen attached to the refrigerator by a magnet and grabbed them. He put the pen in his mouth and nibbled on it as he thought about what things he wanted to include. He began to write, the pen moving quickly as he added more and more things until he was satisfied.

* * *

1\. Christmas Baking - December 20th

Gray looked down at his list. The first item was Christmas Baking. Now granted, he'd only ever helped with the decorating, but he was in college - how hard could whipping up a batch of cookies be? Gray had all of the Internet at his disposal. He brought up a browser window on his phone and swiped in 'easy Christmas cookies'. He was excited to find a cinnamon one with only four ingredients, and they looked beautiful. Perfect!

First step, go into the kitchen and make sure Natsu had the necessary ingredients. He found the pantry and looked down at the ingredient list on his phone: flour, salt, cinnamon. Check, check and check. He could just use water from the tap.

Gray started singing to himself as he opened cabinets to look for the supplies he would need to make the cookies.

 _I don't want a lot for Christmas_

 _There's just one thing I need_

He found the cookie sheets in the drawer under the oven and pulled them out. Bowls were in the cabinets, and when he explored the drawers, he was able to locate measuring spoons and even some cookie cutters, although they weren't very Christmassy. He chose a few shapes - star, heart, cat, and his biggest score a gingerbread girl and boy. Things were working out great.

 _I don't care about the presents_

 _Underneath the Christmas tree_

He looked down at the instructions and remembered to wash his hands before getting started. He measured out the ingredients and combined them, kneading them together until a dough formed. It had a lovely brown color, and after admiring it for a moment, he wrapped the bowl in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. He cleaned up his mess as he waited for the thirty minutes to be up.

 _I just want you for my own_

 _More than you could ever know_

He preheated the oven to 250° F and found a rolling pin. Come to think of it Natsu was rather well prepared for a college guy living on his own. Wasn't he an art student?

Gray rolled out the dough and used the cookie cutters to cut out the shapes, lifting the cookies carefully and placing them on the cookie sheet. Once he had them all ready, he put them in the oven. _Bake cookies for two hours._ Two hours seemed like a really long time but what did he know? He set a timer and went off to watch another movie while they baked, visions of Natsu's happy face when he came home from work making him

smile in anticipation.

 _Make my wish come true_

 _All I want for Christmas_

 _Is you_

Gray must have dozed off cause he woke up to the wonderful smell of cinnamon permeating the apartment. He heard a key turning in the lock and got up to help, remembering Natsu had mentioned getting groceries.

"I'm home," Natsu called out as he kicked the door closed behind him. He was carrying several bags, and Gray quickly grabbed two of them.

"Oh, hey. There you are," Natsu greeted and entered the kitchen putting the bags on the counter. He looked at the items drying on his rack and grinned. "Is that cinnamon I smell? I love cinnamon!"

He peeked in the oven and Gray could see his brow furrow. "Gray, how long have those been in the oven?"

Gray peeked at the timer and said, "They have about ten minutes left so about an hour and fifty minutes."

He could see Natsu was trying not to laugh and got mildly annoyed. "What's so funny?"

"Where did you get the recipe from?" Natsu asked, ignoring his question.

"The internet, why?" Gray was getting more annoyed, this was not going at all the way he'd imagined.

"Can I see it?" Natsu asked, and Gray obliged, showing him the page he'd gotten the recipe from. Natsu started to laugh in earnest now.

"Did you even read it?" Natsu managed in between bursts of laughter.

"Sure, it said easy cinnamon cookies," Gray answered matter-of-factly.

"These aren't edible," Natsu explained patiently.

"What the hell do you mean they're not edible?" Gray growled angrily, "I worked hard on those, and you haven't even tried them. They smell delicious."

"No, Gray, they're not meant for eating," Natsu pointed to the instructions further down on the page, "You made Christmas Ornament Cookies, you dumbass. Didn't you think it was odd that they had to bake for so long at such a low temperature?"

Gray's face flushed with embarrassment, this was not going at all the way he'd envisioned, and now he looked like an idiot in front of his crush. "How was I supposed to know, I'd never baked anything before," he said heatedly.

Natsu must have realized these meant more to Gray than he'd let on because he stopped teasing him, and when the timer went off he took the cookies out of the oven and put them on a cooling rack. He had a thoughtful look on his face.

"How do you know so much about this stuff anyway?" Gray grumbled, still feeling a fool.

"That would be because I'm a culinary student."

"I thought you were an art major."

"I'm both."

"Oh." Another thing to add to the list of things Gray didn't know about Natsu.

"I brought some pizza from work, let's eat!" Natsu chirped, "That should give us just enough time."

"Time for what?" Gray asked curiously.

"For the cookies to cool down. You worked hard on these, we might as well decorate them. I have some art supplies we can use."

They spent the rest of the evening decorating the cookies, even drawing dicks and boobs on the gingerbread people as they laughed hysterically, each trying to outdo the other. It didn't go the way he had expected, but Gray couldn't count it as a loss. Especially when Natsu had directed more smiles at him in one night than he had in all the years they'd known each other.

* * *

2\. Watching Christmas Movies with Lyon and Ur - December 21st

The following evening Gray sat on the futon channel surfing again. He found Home Alone was about to start and settled in to watch. He'd watched that one with Ur and Lyon, it was one of their yearly traditions since he and Lyon had been little.

Natsu had been gone all day, having been offered a double shift. Gray had already eaten, not sure when Natsu was going to return. He went in search of a snack, making some microwave popcorn and grabbing a beer from the fridge before sitting back down again. Happy had shadowed him all day, taking several naps on him as he played video games.

Gray was halfway through the movie and his second beer when the apartment door opened and a tired looking Natsu walked in. He perked up a little when he saw Gray and walked over to him.

"Whatcha watching?" Natsu looked at the TV with interest, "Oh hey, is this the one about the kid that pulls all those awesome pranks on the robbers? I like this one, it's hilarious!"

Natsu didn't wait for an answer, he sat down next to Gray on the futon and grabbed some popcorn, throwing it in the air and catching it in his mouth. Gray didn't even look at him. Ever since the movie had started, he'd been overwhelmed by unexpected sorrow. It had finally hit him, Ur was gone, and she was never coming back. Christmas would never be the same, and he couldn't even count on Lyon. He was alone. Gray's eyes welled with tears that he thought he was done with.

"Gray?" Natsu asked with concern, "What's wrong? This movie is supposed to be funny, not sad."

When Gray didn't answer Natsu put his arm around his shoulders and let him cry quietly, holding him against him with one arm while rubbing Gray's back in slow circles with the other. Natsu went to change the channel, but Gray protested wanting to watch the movie all the way through one last time. Natsu didn't ask any more questions and watched it with him, but Gray could see the concern in his eyes.

* * *

3\. Sledding - Long walks to look at decorations and get some hot cocoa - December 22nd

Gray was not happy with how the whole movie watching debacle had gone. It had been on his list, but that was not at all how it was supposed to have gone. They were supposed to have laughed and had fun together. Instead, he had once again made a fool of himself in front of Natsu, and although he had gotten cuddles out of it, those were not righteous cuddles. They were pity cuddles, and that was unacceptable.

Natsu had told him he was getting out early today, so Gray decided to wait for him outside of Walmart where he worked. He'd determined that maybe it was time to try one of the outdoor traditions. Gray would take Natsu sledding, something he'd done for hours with Lyon. Then he would take him to their coffee shop for some coffee or hot cocoa.

Gray was delighted with his plan, he'd gone online to look for a good sledding hill in the area and had been surprised to learn that there was a small ski resort only a few miles away. He whistled to himself as he waited and even put a five dollar bill in the local Food Bank collection box.

Soon Natsu came out of the large store, and Gray called out to him.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Natsu asked looking surprised but also pleased to see him.

"I thought we could do something fun today," Gray explained, smiling excitedly.

Natsu looked at him and chuckled, "Should I be concerned?"

"No, this is gonna be great!" Gray beamed, "Let me call an Uber."

"An Uber?" Natsu looked nervous, but Gray paid no mind, "Can't we just walk wherever we're going?"

"No, the place we're going is miles away," Gray already had the app open and was plugging in the information. "Oh great, they'll be here in like five minutes."

"Gray, I need to go inside to get something, okay?"

"Nonsense, it'll be here any minute," Gray said while scouting the parking lot for the car described. "Oh wait, I think that's it. Come on!"

Gray grabbed Natsu by the arm and dragged him behind him ignoring all of Natsu's pleas and nearly pushing him into the waiting vehicle.

The trip was thankfully short. Natsu was quiet the whole ride, and Gray was worried that his friend might be angry, but then he noticed that Natsu was covering his mouth and he seemed to be trying to look out the window.

Gray paid for the ride from his phone as Natsu exploded out of the car holding his stomach and breathing shallowly. As soon as he got himself under control, he did look angry.

"What's wrong with you?" Gray asked concerned that Natsu looked sick.

"What's wrong with _me_?" Natsu screeched, "What's wrong with _you_? I was trying to tell you I get motion sickness in cars, but you wouldn't listen."

"Oh, god! I'm so sorry, Natsu," Gray gazed at his friend feeling terrible, "I was just so excited... Is there anything I can do?" _Stupid!_ He berated himself.

"I'll be fine in a few minutes, the cold air helps," Natsu muttered grudgingly as he scolded, "But you really should listen to people when they're trying to tell you something."

Natsu looked at the area they were in with interest. "So what are we doing here?"

"I was going to take you sledding," Gray admitted sheepishly, "But I'm guessing you can't do that."

"I don't know, I've never tried. I might be able to if I took some medicine." Natsu bit his lip thoughtfully, and Gray couldn't help but watch, his own lips aching at the sight. "I'd like to go sometime though. Raincheck?"

"Okay." Gray smiled at Natsu, trying to hide his disappointment as best he could, "Want to get some hot cocoa or something?"

"Sure!" Natsu gave Gray one of his beaming smiles as they walked towards the line that was full of parents attempting to control their cold, petulant children. Gray didn't even notice them, he was too busy talking to Natsu.

They got their hot cocoa and walked around a bit until they found an information sign. Natsu studied it with interest, and suddenly he grabbed Gray's arm excitedly as he almost bounced on his heels. "Look, Gray! It says there's a nature trail. Wanna go check it out since we're already here? There could be animals!"

Gray had no real desire to go on a nature hike at the moment, especially considering they would more than likely be stuck walking back to town, but there was no way he could say no to the childlike excitement in Natsu's eyes.

"Catch me if you can!" Natsu grinned as he called out a challenge, dashing towards the path's entrance as fast as he could.

 _You're not even dating, and he already has you whipped!_ Gray chastised himself, already chasing after Natsu. Then again, it's not like he really cared. Natsu was intoxicating, and getting to spend all this time with him getting to know him better was more than worth it. Besides, they could come sledding another time when Natsu was prepared, and hey, a long walk _was_ on his list.

* * *

4\. Gingerbread houses with ^ _spiked_ eggnog - December 23rd

It had been an impulse buy at the grocery store when he went to buy coffee. Gingerbread house kits had been on sale two for one and Gray had not been able to resist. There were just too many memories associated with the activity, and before he knew what he was doing, he'd bought two and had scoured through what was left of the candy aisle.

Gray didn't even know why he bothered with these every year. He could barely get the damn house to stay put together and even when he did, he never ate it. But there was something so compelling about designing a house entirely out of candy, not to mention the fun he had bickering with Lyon and Ur about who got to use what.

He opened the kit and took out all the pieces, pausing to read the instructions. Ur had made the gingerbread and the frosting from scratch every year while he and Lyon had been tasked with picking the candy. They'd go to the store together while Ur baked and argue over which kind to get, eventually coming home with an assortment like the one that was laid out on Natsu's coffee table. Each candy bought was an experience gained from previous trial and error.

Gray contemplated with satisfaction the almost obscene amount of candy he'd purchased - Twizzlers, nonpareils, gummies, M&M's, Hugs, Kisses, candy canes, bubble gum, peppermints… the list went on and on. He'd also gotten some cereal, an assortment of pretzel shapes and a ridiculous amount of frosting. Gray doubted Natsu would want to do this with him, even though he'd bought him a kit, but it was something Gray needed to do. A part of him was still desperate to keep Ur with him. Maybe Natsu would at least keep him company just to steal the candy. Natsu had always had a ridiculous sweet tooth.

He'd come to accept that Natsu really wasn't into the Christmas stuff, but he at least hadn't complained about spending time together, no matter how tired he was from working so many hours.

Gray got up to get some bowls for the cereal and pretzels as well as a spatula for the "glue." He found some scissors and grabbed those as well to help him open all the packages, remembering how in previous years candy had exploded out of its bag when he or Lyon had tried to open them regularly. He was still fighting with getting the panels to stick together when Natsu arrived.

"What a day!" Natsu sighed as he closed the door behind him. He looked beyond exhausted. "Every day people are getting more desperate, and ruder."

"Something happen?" Gray asked only half listening as he kept applying more frosting to his walls in yet another attempt to get them the stay up.

"Yeah, this guy was threatening my friend Cana cause we were out of stock on some toy he wanted for his kid." Natsu was in the kitchen looking for something in the cabinets. "Can you believe he actually accused her of hiding one for herself?" Natsu shook his head. "He even shoved her, demanding she find him one."

Gray looked up at that. "Seriously?"

"Yep, so I introduced him to my fist," Natsu informed him with no regret whatsoever.

"Oh shit, man! Did you get fired?"

"Nah, the manager made a big show of reprimanding me, but once we were in the break room, he told me he would've done the same thing," Natsu smiled. "Cana gave me this before I left." Natsu showed Gray the large bottle he was holding.

"What's that?" Gray looked at the bottle curiously.

"Homemade eggnog, apparently she's famous for it. You want some?" Natsu offered, and Gray accepted a cup. He loved eggnog.

"Woah, this is spicy!" Gray commented as he took a big gulp.

"Spicy?" Natsu raised an eyebrow before taking a drink. "Damn! You weren't kidding, this stuff is good. I wonder what she puts in it."

They drank the whole bottle in about half an hour while trying to make gingerbread houses. When Gray's house fell for the tenth time, he gave up. The entire thing was covered in frosting, but no matter what he did it kept collapsing.

Natsu laughed so hard at the dejected expression on Gray's face he fell off the futon, the M&M he'd been about to eat flying out of his hand and landing in the wall of frosting. Gray looked at it and stood the wall up again - the M&M had stuck and for some reason that struck him as funny. He laughed and laughed until tears streamed out of his eyes.

Natsu grabbed a handful of M&M's and threw them at the frosting on the other sections trying to get them to stick. "This is fun! Come on, try it."

Gray laughed good-naturedly as he watched Natsu play his game. "I give up," he said, his words beginning to slur.

Natsu looked at him in confusion, "On the house? It's not that bad. If you get a paper towel we can wipe it down and start over. I think that frosting needs to go in the fridge for a while though. It's just goop at this point."

"No no, on Christmas. It's just never going to be the same now that she's gone and Lyon doesn't care." Gray's shoulders slumped, and he took a piece of paper out of his pocket. He crumpled it and threw it at the wastebasket missing by a comfortable margin.

Natsu looked uncomfortable, but he bravely asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah, it's fine. It's late, and you should probably get to bed for work tomorrow." Gray waved him away, "I'll clean this up tomorrow. By the way, I think that eggnog was spiked with something."

"Of course it was, didn't I say Cana made it?" Natsu snorted, before remembering that Gray had no idea who Cana was. He peered over to see that Gray had already fallen asleep. He checked to make sure his friend was on his side and began to clean up the mess they'd made.

Natsu picked up the wadded piece of paper off the floor and was about to put it in the trash when he remembered how sad Gray had looked and decided to open it instead. He pored through Gray's messy scrawl.

Perfect Christmas

1\. Christmas Baking

2\. Trim the tree

3\. Watching Christmas movies with Lyon and Ur

4\. Sledding with Lyon

5\. Gingerbread houses with Lyon and Ur

6\. Shopping for presents

7\. Ice skating?

8\. Singing Christmas carols

9\. Long walks to look at decorations then home for Ur's hot cocoa

10\. Looking at Christmas lights

11\. Wearing stupid ugly sweaters

12\. Kissing Natsu under the mistletoe

 _Fucking Lyon, how could he abandon Gray like this? Doesn't he know how much Gray is hurting?_

Natsu fumed, reading down the list a second time and trying to ignore the racing of his heart at number twelve. He was still having trouble accepting that Gray was interested in him, even though he himself had been pining for a while.

He made up his mind and took the list as well as Gray's phone with him to his bedroom. He mirrored the gesture he had seen Gray use to unlock his phone a million times and was soon in his Contacts list. He scrolled down until he found the number he was looking for and smirked when he saw it was listed under Cold Emperor.

The phone rang a few times before it was picked up by a very sleepy sounding Lyon.

"Gray? Why are you calling me so late?" Lyon asked groggily.

"Now listen to me you cold bastard, what the hell is wrong with you?" Natsu yelled into the phone.

"Natsu? Is that you?" Lyon sounded more confused than angry.

"Yeah, it's me," Natsu spat out angrily. "We have some things to discuss."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Natsu called in sick for the first time in over a year, and he'd already taken the following day off so that wouldn't be a problem. He'd spent some time online the previous evening searching for things that might cheer Gray up and had come up with a few ideas.

He felt terrible for not realizing just how sad and lonely Gray was, too worried about putting in as many hours as he could to really give it much thought. He'd tried to be up for whatever Gray had been up to when he got home, but he realized now that had not been enough. Natsu had never experienced Christmas, but for Gray, it was a big deal.

Gray had a lot of traditions that he'd enjoyed over the years, and now that he found himself alone he was lost and hurting, and Natsu was the worst person in the world to make that better cause he was at a loss at what to do. He did have the list though, and the things that he and Lyon had discussed the night before. Now he just had to secure a rental car on Christmas Eve.

December 24th :

2\. Trim the tree

8\. Singing Christmas carols

9\. Long Walks to look at decorations then home for Ur's hot chocolate

Lights

Ugly Sweaters

12\. Kissing Natsu under the mistletoe

The rental car idea had not worked out so well. The last person he'd talked to had actually laughed at him over the phone and suggested he look into bus tickets, which had actually been a decent suggestion but also a dead end.

"Come on 'Jeel," Natsu whined over the phone, "You know I wouldn't ask unless it was important."

"You getting laid is not important to me." Gajeel retorted.

"It's not like that, I just want to do something nice for a friend," Natsu argued back.

"A friend that you're interested in," Gajeel reminded him.

"That's beside the point, he's staying in my apartment. If that's all I wanted I would have done something about it already. Now stop being a dick and let me borrow your car."

Gajeel remained silent on the line for a few minutes as he considered the request. "Fine, but you're going to owe me big, and if you get even one scratch on my baby, I will repay you with my fist."

"Deal. Thank you!" Natsu exclaimed, now that things were beginning to work out for his plan he was getting excited. Gajeel agreed to drop off his car before noon.

Natsu grabbed some clothes from his closet and put them in a backpack. He tiptoed, not wanting to wake Gray as he grabbed a change of clothes for him from the coat closet, then grabbed his motion sickness medication from the bathroom. He called Lyon again to let him know what time to meet them.

Natsu had already bought tickets for all three of them to attend the event. He really hoped Gray liked it. He looked through his closet, trying to find some old sweaters he wouldn't mind messing up, eventually coming up with a white one and a gray one. Natsu might not have any Christmas sweaters but he was an art student, and he was perfectly capable of making his own ugly ones.

Natsu laid both sweaters on his bed and studied them thoughtfully. He opened the cabinet that contained all his art supplies and pulled out different colors of felt as well as scissors and needle and thread. He grabbed his glue gun and plugged it into the wall then went into the living room to grab some of the leftover candy from the previous night.

Gray stirred, and Natsu stood still, not exactly sure how to act around his friend now that he knew his feelings were returned.

"Natsu?" Gray opened his eyes slowly. "You're not going to work today?"

"Nope, I forgot to tell you last night they gave me the day off, tomorrow too."

"Isn't it a little early for candy?" Gray blinked slowly taking in his friend who had his arms full of candy.

"I'm working on a project," Natsu grinned sheepishly, "Actually, would you like to help?"

"Sure, you've put up with all my stuff," Gray shrugged, stretching and getting up from the bed. He looked down at his clothes with surprise. "Did I fall asleep on you? I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, just come into my room when you're ready," Natsu encouraged him as he headed back to his room, "All my art supplies are in there."

"Ok, I'm gonna make some coffee, do you want some?" Gray asked already headed to the kitchen.

"Yes please!" Natsu yelled from his bedroom, already focused on his project. The beginning stages of a project were always his favorite, everything was fraught with possibility. Colors, textures, materials, shapes, sizes. So many decisions and every one could either make his vision come to life or make it fall flat.

He looked at the list one last time before hiding it under his pillow and deciding to make his a Christmas tree. They could trim it together with scraps of fabric, candy and whatever else he could scrounge up, maybe buttons? He cut a tree shape and began to sew it on to the sweater, deciding it was safer since the weight of the decorations might be too much for the glue to handle.

For the other sweater, he'd decided on the reindeer with the red nose, making the face as big as possible and cutting antlers that went all the way down the sleeves of the sweater. He was sewing those in when Gray came into the room balancing two piping hot mugs of coffee and two bagels with cream cheese.

"Mhmm… thanks! You're a lifesaver," Natsu grabbed the coffee from his friend and inhaled deeply.

Gray chuckled and smelled his own drink before looking at what Natsu was working on. "What are you making?"

" _We_ are making ugly sweaters," Natsu said as he continued sewing the antlers to the sleeve. Natsu observed his handiwork critically. "Do you think the reindeer needs glasses?"

"Uhm, sure… but doesn't he need eyes first?" Gray replied as Natsu attacked his collection of felt scraps coming up with white, black and turquoise.

"Already on it!" Natsu grinned showing him the black and white scraps he was holding.

"Can you cut up two large white circles and two smaller black ones? I'll work on the glasses."

"I don't know, Natsu. I'm not exactly crafty." Gray said nervously.

"Dude, you baked cookies and made gingerbread houses, you're fucking Martha Stewart as far as I'm concerned." Natsu teased, "Besides it doesn't matter if you mess up, they're supposed to be ugly, remember?" He handed Gray the scissors and began to draw a large pair of glasses that he would have Gray cut out while he got together all the materials he would need for the other one.

Natsu looked around for old buttons, beads and pipe cleaners and set them in a pile. He began laying out the candy and positioning the Twizzlers as garlands. They continued to work in silence, and Natsu turned on his radio, Christmas music played from the speakers, but Natsu made no move to change the station.

"You don't have to do that, I'm sure you must be sick of Christmas music by now."

"Nah, it's okay, it's a fitting soundtrack to what we're doing," Natsu grinned, "To be honest, at work I just kind of tune it out. Do you like this one?"

Gray tried not to blush, the song that was playing was _All I Want For Christmas Is You_.

"Yeah, it's ok. Hey Natsu? _Why_ are we doing this?"

"Oh, we'll need them for later."

"Why?"

"Not telling, it's a surprise," Natsu winked with a shy smile, "You've been planning a lot of activities for us to do and I've been slacking, so today it's my turn."

He heard his apartment buzzer go off and got up to answer it. "I'll be right back, keep working on this okay?"

Natsu ran downstairs and opened the building door. Gajeel was standing in front of his car which was conveniently parked in front of the building.

Natsu hugged Gajeel, who was one of his oldest friends, "You are the best, I owe you big time!"

"Not a scratch, and I expect a full tank of gas when I get it back," Gajeel growled before handing over the keys. He softened his voice and ruffled Natsu's hair before saying. "Good luck kid, we're all rooting for you, and if you want to take more days off, I can cover for you." Gajeel gihied at Natsu's obvious discomfort and walked off towards the bus stop.

Natsu went back inside and checked on Gray's progress. He was using the glue gun to decorate the tree with the bits and pieces Natu had laid out. Natsu sewed on the reindeer eyes and glasses and watched Gray work as he ate his bagel. He caught himself appreciating the way Gray's brow furrowed as he applied glue to an object and attached it to the felt, immediately smiling as he admired his work. Natsu quickly looked away, glad to see his friend seemed to be enjoying himself. Natsu made a few suggestions and then looked down at his watch, they'd need to leave in about an hour.

"Alright, that's probably enough. We should give the glue some time to set before we put these on." Natsu commented, he thought they had both come out pretty good, maybe not quite as ugly as they should have been but oh well.

"I'm gonna take a shower and get ready. We need to leave here in about an hour."

Gray nodded and went to watch TV as he waited for his turn in the bathroom. He wondered what Natsu had planned, he'd had a lot of fun working on the sweaters, although the fact that it had been a Christmas related activity had been kind of odd. Had he said something last night? Gray couldn't remember.

An hour later they were ready to go, Natsu had packed them food, and they left the apartment both wearing their sweaters under their coats. Gray had chosen the tree one while Natsu was wearing the reindeer with the squiggly antlers.

Natsu unlocked the car from Gajeel's key fob and opened the door for Gray.

"I thought you got motion sick," Gray asked in confusion.

"I do, but it's not as bad when I'm driving," Natsu explained. "We have a long car drive ahead of us, so I went ahead and took medicine a while ago."

"Where are we going?"

"It'll be more fun for you if you let yourself be surprised." Natsu felt a buzz in his pocket and saw he had a text from Lyon.

 _Preparations have all been made._

Natsu smiled to himself in anticipation. He was really excited to do this for Gray, and after all wasn't that what Christmas was supposed to be all about? He turned the ignition and remained quiet until he had gotten on the highway. Natsu didn't often drive so even with the GPS feeding him directions he was still nervous.

Gajeel's car had satellite radio, and Gray played with it until he found a station that listed bands he enjoyed. He settled back on the seat as Pyro by Shinedown began to play.

"Turn it up a little, I like that one," Natsu requested as he began to sing along. Gray joined him, and soon they were both belting it out, laughing as it became increasingly clear that neither one of them could carry a tune. Natsu stretched his arm out blindly to pat Gray on the shoulder but to his great embarrassment, somehow ended up brushing his fingers on Gray's cheek instead.

Natsu's entire face turned beet red as he realized what he'd done and he quickly moved his hand back to the steering wheel. "I'm so sorry! I was just-"

Gray laughed, amused by Natsu's distress, "It's ok, at least it wasn't a punch."

Natsu had to snicker at that, Gray had a point. They had become rather well known for their fistfights over the years, that and their constant bickering. They listened to music in comfortable silence, but Natsu could tell that Gray was becoming more curious. He caught him peering at all the road signs, trying to figure out where they were headed.

When they were about thirty minutes out from their destination, Natsu changed the station to Christmas music, and as Gray sang along, Natsu made up his own lyrics much to Gray's amusement.

"Hey, we're not that far from our place," Gray suddenly said.

"Really? Where do you live?" Natsu feigned innocence as best he could but thankfully Gray was too busy looking out the window to notice.

"Where are we going?" Gray asked suspiciously.

"Just be patient, it'll only be a little longer."

"Do you think we could drive by my house on the way back?" Gray asked, and he looked so hopeful that Natsu did not have the heart to say no.

"If that's what you want."

Natsu saw the turn he needed to take to get off the highway. It was going to be small-town roads from now on.

"Wow, look at that!" Natsu pointed out as they began to drive past ornately decorated storefronts and houses. Natsu could almost touch Gray's excitement as he talked about all the things they were seeing.

He began to talk about Ur and Lyon and how they had spent days decorating their house inside and out and Natsu could hear the love dripping in his words.

Soon they turned into the parking lot for the Botanical Gardens where an attendant guided them to a spot. They got out of the car, Gray gawking at the little he could already see. Natsu was grinning from ear to ear, already seeing that he'd made a good choice.

He'd heard about this place from some people at work but had promptly forgotten it because he didn't think it had anything to do with him. However, when it showed up on Natsu's search, he thought Gray would like it. The Botanical Garden had covered their entire landscape in beautiful lights of every color.

Natsu brought out the food he'd packed and headed towards the place he'd agreed to meet Lyon with Gray following behind, overwhelmed by all the colors. At one point Natsu had to grab Gray's hand so he wouldn't get lost in the crowd, dragging him towards the main building.

They entered and headed towards the small sitting area where there were some tables, Lyon already sitting at one of them. He rose to meet them.

"Took you long enough," The voice was enough to grab Gray's attention.

"Lyon?" He asked in disbelief, "But how…"

Gray looked back at Natsu who had stepped back to give the two brothers some space. He began to set out the food he'd made so they could eat before they entered the gardens.

"I got a furious call last night," Lyon glared at Natsu before sighing, "But everything he said was true, I was an asshole."

Gray stood there nodding dumbly, still not entirely sure what was going on, and Lyon wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. "I should have thought about how this would affect you," Lyon whispered, "I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Yeah," Gray hugged Lyon back, "I've been thinking about you a lot and about her… I miss her."

"I miss her too, every day," Lyon told him sadly, neither one of them wanting to say Ur's name.

"Food's ready guys," Natsu called out, having already taken his seat at the table. They ate quickly and got in line for their time slot. Natsu handed the attendant his phone with the email receipt, and they were given stickers to put on their coats.

"When did they start doing this?" Gray asked in awe, his eyes never straying from the lights outside. He had been to the Botanical Gardens several times over the years, but it had never looked like this before.

"This year, actually," Lyon replied, "To be honest I was surprised Natsu knew about it."

Gray dragged his eyes away from the lights to gaze at Natsu, who was busy taking in their surroundings. Lyon snickered and whispered, "If you don't finally make a move on him after this, there is no hope for you."

"What if he turns me down?" Gray whispered urgently.

"Are you stupid?" Lyon hissed, then softened his tone when he saw that Gray was serious. "I'm almost certain that's not going to happen. Now let's get out there and look at some lights!"

The three of them made their way outside, the late afternoon air surprisingly cold, making them zip their jackets all the way up and cover their heads and hands with hats and gloves. They stood still for a minute trying to determine which direction to go first.

Natsu tried to stay behind the two brothers wanting to give them the time he knew they needed to reconnect, but neither of them was having it. Gray grabbed Natsu's hand and kept him by his side while Lyon walked on Gray's other side.

Natsu was surprised when Gray didn't let go of his hand. Instead, he squeezed it and started telling him about other times he'd been there. He showed Natsu his favorite areas and with a mischievous grin told stories of getting lost on field trips or scaring Ur by playing hide and seek with Lyon.

Gray showed him where there had once been a park and stopped at every fairy house to explore the inside. It was nice to see this side of Gray, to have him share some of his life before they had ever met.

Gray oohed and aahed at all the lights, especially liking how they reflected on the ice while also enjoying the ones frozen underneath the surface. Natsu took lots of pictures of the displays while Lyon took a picture of Natsu and Gray as they sat on a garden swing with their arms draped around each other's shoulders and smiling at the camera.

Natsu was looking forward to the last item on Gray's list, but he had not spotted a mistletoe yet. Too soon their time ended and they had to leave. The three of them heading back to the parking lot.

"I don't want this to end," Gray turned around and looked at the lights one more time before seeking Natsu out. "This was incredible, Natsu, and you even got Lyon here! Thank you!"

Lyon gave Gray a meaningful look and left them alone to go get something from his car.

"I'm glad you liked it," Natsu beamed, and they stood there neither one knowing what to do or say.

Lyon returned with a large thermos of hot cocoa and some hot cups only to notice neither Natsu nor Gray had moved from where he'd left them. They stood there locked in a stare that was quickly derailing into a panicked gaze. Lyon did not have the patience for this idiocy. He'd had enough.

"Oh for the love of God," Lyon cried out in frustration, "You two are dating, just deal with it! Now have some of Ur's hot cocoa." He filled the cups and shoved them in their faces.

Gray detangled himself from Natsu's eyes long enough to grab his cup, "Did you say Ur's hot cocoa?"

Lyon smirked, quite satisfied with himself, "Just don't ask how many batches it took to get it right."

Gray placed the cup under his nose and let the steam warm up his face as he smelled the contents. He closed his eyes, visions of past years playing in his mind before he finally took a sip. He let out a small whimper, it was perfect. Just like this whole day. He thought about what Lyon had blurted out and realized his brother was right.

Everything they'd done since he'd begun staying at Natsu's apartment had been a date.

"This is really good, Lyon, " Gray watched as Natsu complimented his brother while making no mention of Lyon's earlier words.

"I'm gonna go home and get the rest of the stuff ready," Lyon told Natsu handing him the thermos, "Come over when you're ready."

Natsu and Gray agreed and watched Lyon drive away, Natsu refilled their cups and covered them with the lids Lyon had provided. He pointed towards the car and Gray nodded walking behind him. Once they had sat down, and while they waited for the car to warm up, Gray asked the question that had been on his mind for the last few minutes.

"There's just one thing I don't get?" Gray puzzled.

"What's that?"

"Why did you do all this?" Gray's mind was quickly putting things together, ugly sweaters, singing carols, Ur's hot cocoa, Christmas lights…"Oh my god, you saw my list!" Gray groaned in humiliation.

"I-I did," Natsu admitted honestly, cheeks burning red at being caught, "I hadn't really understood how important all this was to you and when I saw how upset you were last night I just, I had to do something."

"I don't know what to say," Gray hid his face in his hands.

"Hey, don't do that," Natsu chastised him as he tried to pry the fingers away, "There's nothing embarrassing about being sad because you're grieving or about wanting to relive moments that made you happy. It's perfectly normal. Your aunt meant a lot to you, and this is your first year without her. Things are different, and it's scary, but you're not alone, you don't have to go through this alone."

Gray thought about Natsu's words and realized he was right. Things _were_ different, and it _was_ scary but that didn't mean he had to give up on Christmas, he just had to learn to enjoy it differently. He could still hold on to old traditions while creating new ones, with Natsu. Still, he couldn't help being embarrassed by the last item of his list.

"That's not what I meant," Gray mumbled from behind his hands, "I was thinking about number twelve."

"Oh, uhm what's wrong with number twelve?" Natsu said as bravely as he could.

"You mean you don't mind it?" Gray slowly peeked out from behind his hand fortress.

"Why would I mind it? I've been looking for fucking mistletoe all night," Natsu complained, "Botanical garden my ass."

Gray started to laugh at Natsu's frustrated tone, "You know the mistletoe was never the important part, right?"

"Well, but it was on your list for a perfect Christmas."

Gray chuckled at how cute Natsu was and tried to hug him, but the car didn't really make it easy. "Let's go home, I want to show you my house."

Natsu looked a little disappointed, but he plugged in the address Lyon had given him and drove off. Gray grabbed his hand in his, and they spent the twenty-minute drive listening to music. Natsu knew the moment Gray began to recognize things because he squeezed his hand tightly.

The neighborhood was pleasant, the houses big but not overly so and they were all decorated for the holidays. There was a snowman in front of every house save one, which turned out to be the one they were going to. Gray didn't even comment fascinated by everything that _was_ there.

Lyon had decorated the entire house by himself. All the outdoor lights, all the inflatables everything was precisely where Gray remembered. He could see the undecorated Christmas tree through the big bay window, it was surrounded by boxes that contained all their ornaments. His heart flowed with love for Natsu who had lit a fire under Lyon's ass and for Lyon who had apparently done nothing but set things up for Gray since he'd gotten that call. Pulling together in one day what used to take the three of them several days.

Gray jumped out of the car almost before Natsu had managed to park it, running around to the driver's door and pulling Natsu out with him. They stood in front of the house, and Gray let the familiar air calm him and bolster his confidence.

He turned and faced Natsu, hugging him tightly against him. When they separated Gray smiled and put his arms around Natsu's waist, pulling him close before finally bringing his lips down gently to Natsu's and pressing against them. Natsu could only smile into the kiss before responding with pressure of his own. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before, it wasn't just pleasure that filled his body it was much more than that. For the first time, Natsu felt like he belonged somewhere with someone. That feeling was something he'd been waiting for his entire life.

He looked forward to decorating the tree with the two brothers who had welcomed him into their lives and building the snowman that had been Lyon's own addition to the list.

Gray grinned at him and said, "We're home!" before leading him inside the house, and Natsu knew that no matter how many Christmases they celebrated together this would always be his favorite one, for it was the one where he gained a family.

The End


End file.
